One of the most interesting things about having an 11 month old is how everything slowly picks up from prospective. She’s starting to have taste, things she likes and things she doesn’t. The genetic emotional ladder of steps it takes to get from point A to point B.
She wants to walk NOT crawl. She finds movements funny and others scary. Sound is becoming familiar as well as faces she sees and is leveling out what is comfortable and what is not. Slowly starting to understand language but only at such a basic level. She is also showing a level of stubborn behavior that I must admit I’m not surprised about considering whom she came from.
Taking in as much of her surroundings as possible. Every day now I see it building up that personality. Environment is important but it’s also something I can clearly see is already built into who she is. Perhaps genetic, or inherently built into her I find it very interesting.
I really do believe now more than ever that it’s very interaction we have around children that build who they are and can change the paths of behavior growing up.
Some mornings you will not want to get out of bed. The bed is just so comfortable and everything seems perfect to just not leave. Responsibility will push you out of that bed. The floor will be super cold on your feet. You might stub your toe,step in cat puke,find the basement flooded and come to the real realization that you have no hot water to shower.
Some days you will wake up and come to terms with the fact you forgot to study for a test. Forgot homework, breakfast and you put your shoes on the wrong foot. Oh and it’s raining outside so everything feels weighted down just being awake.
In 15 years of working I only today woke up an hour late because the alarm didn’t go off and my cell phone was dead. I got up, got dressed, answered the phone call from my boss making sure I was okay and on the way. I got to work and I accepted that today was going to be a bad day.
Yet I didn’t dwell on what was happening. I focused on what needed to continue to be done and I managed to pull myself up. I thought about your sleeping face and came to terms that even if today was bad it wasn’t as bad as it would have been without you in my life. That’s the affect being your dad has had on me.
Things will get bad and something’s will always remain amazing. Prospective can be hard sometimes. I personally have always believed in fate and the path that goes up and down is the one constant you will come to learn to accept. Believe that while days may sometimes seem endless at some point you are going to bite into a sausage egg and cheese sandwich and it will be the most delicious and amazing thing you have ever had because at that point. Life got better even if it was for just a couple of moments.
It always gets better you just have to come back to the exact moment you are at and say.. I’m breathing, safe, healthy, and this will get better.
In 9 months I have learned more about life in general than I ever thought I could. My brain has been put into what is both the lightest state and the darkest I have ever seen it go. Becoming a Father is a journey that really surprises me every single day. When I put into thought what a life actually is I tend to go back to Morphius in how he explained what is REAL?
Babies “Lilith Specifically” has to comprehend that everything around her is happening RIGHT NOW. She is feeling everything as brand new. The default screen for a dos prompt! Everything from the way the air touches her skin is new to her. Vision, sounds, tastes, hell everything is brand new and I never thought to think what that would be like for anyone?…
I have written almost 253 Observations about the world and I only started doing that between the ages of 27-40. It’s sooooo much to take in but it’s basic also. When I first met Lilith my brain was comprehending a number of things both good and bad.
This one of the first photos I ever took of my daughter and her eye weren’t even open yet. She had just been born and because she was born slightly early she had to be watched and pumped with some stuff to keep her little body in DEVELOPMENT MODE. Now in truth Development doesn’t really end here. I mean technically we are always in that mode however at this point every second counts as to every minute. She’s building strength for her movement, lungs, heart beat, all of that stuff.
So here’s some basic stuff to keep in mind.
Cold is always associated with Pain. Babies can’t comprehend the difference yet. They can feel sadness before they have any comprehension what joy is. Being comfortable is the closest thing they will get before any kind of laughter or joy enters the brain. So by default being comfortable is the most important thing they get. Warmth is important both from a physical standpoint to a emotional one. She wants to hear my voice, she wants to see me and know who I am. That first conversation I had with her was one I don’t think I WILL ever forget. I just rambled on about my own experiences with learning how to breath, and how much of a difficult time I had being her age. How she’s far more comfortable than I was at first and how she was born at a perfect time in science to allow her to be watched the way she is currently.
Technology is amazing if you ask me in that we can do things today we never could a year ago or 5 years…10…20…40!.. So we have advantages today that we never did before. Some other basic notes to adjust with…
Baby whips are COLD… Always use a warmer for them because it will make cleaning the skin SOOOO MUCH Easier. Before the baby shower we didn’t have a whip warmer. After it was a game changer! She never cried with cleaning her because the whips stayed warm which you would think at first.. it doesn’t matter but it does! Again new sensations and cold anything sucks for kids.
VITAL VITAL VITAL to understanding is that everything is new and basic. So being loud while it might scare you really doesn’t matter to a baby. Later in development “about a couple of weeks” you will notice a startle reflex. Which is how being scared happens. It happens first before anything. Babies scream from day one to communicate! Hungry, sad, scared, happy… it’s all the same in basic. Try not to overwhelm yourself with it because what is life really?
You need to breath
You need to eat
You need to poop.
Everything else is just comfort! Meaning it could be teething, It could be i’m cold, it could be I need attention, Really even at 40 years old now these things are really the most important parts of my day. At 9 months my girl wants to walk, she wants to move, she wants HER SPACE. Routine is also important, nurses are ANGELS full of information that you should NEVER be scared to ask a question too. We have asked some silly questions to be given answers that we didn’t even think about. From what to feed, to how to feed, with what.. ALWAYS ASK. ALSO ALWAYS WRITE THINGS DOWN.
The devil is in the Details! At the start of the being a day I got a notepad. I wrote down some basic stuff like Feedings, the time it happened, the amount she ate, did she pee, did she poop. Everything I had to keep track of because again this information was vital for that first doctor visit. Colors of stuff is important also.. Color of pee, poop, snot.. all that stuff. Color of skin meaning blotches and so on important to question. Again.. if it’s a question in your mind even the slightest detail.. write it down and ask. You might get a good laugh out of some of this stuff but it’s all new information! I wrote a log on how much she was being given to eat. How many hours it was… it becomes like a manual and is actually interesting because you wouldn’t think all this new stuff would run by intervals but it all does. It changes moods, and habits.
Again even being 40 I question this stuff.. if I don’t eat breakfast.. will it really affect my mood?…OF COURSE! With what I eat and what I learned all this stuff is important. To this day my moms one basic rule for eating anything is NEVER EAT ANYTHING OUT OF A BAG That doesn’t belong in a bag.. Box or plastic. Glass is your friend but glass is also glass.. so BECAREFUL!
TOMMEE TIPPEE!!
Those are the only bottles we have used since we had our girl and I have come to find them to be the best bottles you can buy. They don’t spill easy and are easy for the new learner to comprehend. They are easy to fill and easy to put together if need be. In the start you will use a 4 Part bottle. It will have a cap, nipple, anti Colic stick.. Which sounds crazy but IT WORKS! I don’t really understand how it works but Lilith never had Colic so I’m happy to report that yes it works!
Tired is an understatement when you become a father. Having someone in your life that doesn’t understand how tired you are or uncomfortable or any of your normal emotional go throughs is a challenge. It’s nice to know they love you but a interesting feeling knowing they can’t understand you because they are still just takinging in life.
I also find it interesting how people form habits. She wakes up and wants to watch her show. Wants to see Mom and dad while of course wanting breakfast. Kinda like dad! She is getting into her own habits. She has shows!! She has so much personality that it’s not surprising at all. Me and Megan have our odd habits but it’s funny because she has completely different habits.
She loves to dance and honestly this is forcing me to dance which is making me more active. Probably healthier for me but yea it’s all changes and while it comes with having her I have to observe what is surrounding me now. The home needs to be baby proofed. Slowly the steps are being made but I’m sure I will need more help with it.
I’m a Father now. Almost 9 months into the position. My parents who are the ground for this position are what I reflect on the most these days. Everyone says it’s a life changing experience and for the most part I get it. It comes with some amazing highs to say the least. I don’t think anything in the universe could make me feel as good as my girls (Gf Megan and daughter Lilith).
Yet again staying on topic I reflect on my parents. My parents were 28 and 27 when I was born. Before me my older brother by 5 years and my older sister by 9. I think about the world they had to deal with. The 70s…80s…90s…No internet. No sociala media, no AI. I remember growing up in Brooklyn and place it was.
People spoke but only in comfortable groups. Fashion and religion often catered to first judgements on whom who would approach. TV was simple by only a hand full of static channels, radio was popular as opposed to podcasts, YouTube and streaming. It seemed easier to me to find yourself and stay to yourself.
Neighbors you could borrow sugar from rather then click on an Amazon link to have it delivered in just a few hours. In Brooklyn you always kept to yourself unless you were at a bar or club or school. You learned to watch your own back being surrounded by people.
For everything the Internet is Brooklyn was the first real social media network. It was divided into sections anyone could visit like small towns piled on top of one another. You could walk to one block and have the most amazing Chinese food ever. Another block the best pizza in your life. It had everything you could want.
Yet think about my parents young and smart learning from the experience. Wake up..put your pants on and go to work. Wake up…check the baby..feed the baby..put your pants on.. go to work. Deal with only what the day is going to bring you. Know only what the world around you is going to bring you.
It’s far too much nowadays. You need to know far too much to keep up with everything. The internet changed that. You don’t get to read this..her..with me ..without that change.
Hail Lilith 