Some mornings you will not want to get out of bed. The bed is just so comfortable and everything seems perfect to just not leave. Responsibility will push you out of that bed. The floor will be super cold on your feet. You might stub your toe,step in cat puke,find the basement flooded and come to the real realization that you have no hot water to shower.
Some days you will wake up and come to terms with the fact you forgot to study for a test. Forgot homework, breakfast and you put your shoes on the wrong foot. Oh and it’s raining outside so everything feels weighted down just being awake.
In 15 years of working I only today woke up an hour late because the alarm didn’t go off and my cell phone was dead. I got up, got dressed, answered the phone call from my boss making sure I was okay and on the way. I got to work and I accepted that today was going to be a bad day.
Yet I didn’t dwell on what was happening. I focused on what needed to continue to be done and I managed to pull myself up. I thought about your sleeping face and came to terms that even if today was bad it wasn’t as bad as it would have been without you in my life. That’s the affect being your dad has had on me.
Things will get bad and something’s will always remain amazing. Prospective can be hard sometimes. I personally have always believed in fate and the path that goes up and down is the one constant you will come to learn to accept. Believe that while days may sometimes seem endless at some point you are going to bite into a sausage egg and cheese sandwich and it will be the most delicious and amazing thing you have ever had because at that point. Life got better even if it was for just a couple of moments.
It always gets better you just have to come back to the exact moment you are at and say.. I’m breathing, safe, healthy, and this will get better.
Hail Lilith 